How to Gently Address Toddler Sleep Disruptions After Welcoming a New Baby
Sarah Ong
10/7/20245 min read
How to Gently Address Toddler Sleep Disruptions After Welcoming a New Baby
Managing Toddler Sleep Challenges with a Newborn at Home
Bringing a newborn home is an exciting yet challenging experience.
For families already blessed with a toddler, the dynamics can change significantly, especially when it comes to sleep.
If your toddler's sleep has become more chaotic since the arrival of your new baby, you're not alone.
Many parents face similar challenges, and while it may seem overwhelming now, there are gentle and responsive strategies you can use to improve the situation.
Understanding Your Toddler's Perspective
Before diving into solutions, it's important to understand why your toddler might be experiencing sleep disruptions:
Adjustment Period: A new sibling means a shift in attention and routine. Your toddler might be feeling displaced or anxious about their changing role.
Developmental Milestones: At around 2 years old, toddlers often undergo significant cognitive and emotional development, which can disrupt their sleep patterns.
Increased Sensitivity: Toddlers are highly perceptive to changes in their environment. The arrival of a newborn can heighten their sensitivity, leading to increased night awakenings. This is especially true if your child is highly sensitive in their temperament.
Understanding these factors helps set the stage for empathy and patience as you navigate this transitional phase.
Gentle Strategies for Improving Sleep
1. Create a Consistent Bedtime Routine
A predictable bedtime routine provides comfort and signals to your toddler that it's time to wind down. Consider incorporating some of these calming activities:
Story Time: Choose books that promote relaxation and feature themes of love and family. Another option you can try is to do body scan by listening to a guided audio or listen to audiobooks if your child responds positively to it.
Bedtime Play: Engage in nonsense play such as parents making mistakes like putting their pajama pants over the head, pretend to sing nursery rhymes with the wrong lyrics or putting puzzle pieces wrongly. Anything that seems nonsense to adults but very funny to your toddler and they repeat this behaviour for several days, you can assume that your toddler is trying to heal from the stress of the new routine with a baby and doing things wrong allows them to release tension through laughter.
Soothing Music: Play nature sounds during the bedtime routine to create a peaceful environment.
2. Reassure Through Presence
Your toddler might need extra reassurance during this period. Here’s how you can provide it without disrupting your own rest:
Stay Close Initially: Sit beside their bed until they fall asleep rather than lying on the floor all night.
Pay Attention To Crying and Tantrums: If after all the bedtime routine has been carried out, it's time to go to sleep but your toddler starts to cry or throw a tantrum, this is a sign that they need to do some stress releasing crying in your presence. There is no need to distract or ask what's wrong. They won't be able to communicate it anyway.
Instead, use the "I'll Listen Until You Fall Asleep" approach.
Without giving your toddler milk, toys, rocking + walking as a way to stop the crying, move in closely and place your had on their head or chest. Pay attention and softly say, "I can see you're having a hard time since the baby is here. I'm right here and I'm listening. I'll stay here until you're ready to go to sleep."
Your toddler will have an opportunity to cry without distractions over the things that have caused them a great deal of stress that they can't sleep well at night. When they have finished crying, they will most likely fall into deep sleep and their quality of sleep will start to improve.
Your child may need several listening sessions, so apply this same approach when they awaken in the middle of the night crying.
Use Comfort Objects: Encourage them to cuddle a favorite stuffed animal or blanket for security. They may not have one but that's okay. Try to leave a soft toy or blankie in their bed at all times to increase their attachment to the object or "lovey".
3. Address Night Wakings with Calmness
Night wakings can be distressing for everyone involved. Responding calmly can help ease these episodes over time:
Gentle Reassurance: When your toddler wakes up crying, offer soothing words and physical comfort without turning on bright lights or engaging in stimulating activities.
Use the approach as described in the point above.
Gradual Withdrawal Technique: Over several nights, when you see that your toddler is more willing to go to bed without much resistence, you could gradually reduce the time spent sitting by their bedside until they feel secure falling back asleep independently.
4. Encourage Daytime Connection
Strengthening your bond during the day can positively impact nighttime behaviour:
Dedicated One-on-One Time: Spend focused time with your toddler each day doing activities they enjoy. Having Present Time may be what's needed to ease your toddler's anxiety. At first, try to do this once a day for a week, and then you can gradually lessen it to three times, two times and once a week. Even once a week can have a positive impact on your child's behaviour overall.
Involve Them with Baby Care: Let them assist with simple tasks related to caring for their sibling, encouraging feelings of inclusion rather than competition.
5. Maintain Realistic Expectations
It's important to remember that adjusting to a new sibling takes time. Be patient with both yourself and your child as you work through this adjustment period together.
Managing Parental Stress
Caring for two young children is no small feat, especially when sleep is elusive for everyone involved. Here are some ways you can manage stress levels:
Share Responsibilities: Divide nighttime duties between partners whenever possible so neither parent becomes overly exhausted. Ask for help even though you feel a huge resistance to it for whatever reasons. You will thank yourself for it. No one is expected to care for young children all alone. That's too much of a responsibility.
Practice Self-Care: Even short moments dedicated to personal relaxation—like taking deep breaths, grounding for 10 minutes on a patch of grass or earth barefooted or enjoying a warm beverage—can recharge your energy reserves. Get a listening partner who's willing to listen to you and not give advice. Just someone being there and giving you supporting listening ears.
How Long Will This Last?
You might wonder how long these disruptions will continue. While every child is different, most toddlers begin settling into new routines within several weeks after welcoming a sibling home.
Remember that consistency paired with compassion goes a long way toward easing transitions.
Seeking Professional Guidance
If sleep challenges persist despite trying various strategies—or if they begin impacting daily life significantly—it may be helpful to consult a sleep expert who specialize in child sleep issues for personalized advice tailored specifically toward new and young families like yours.
If you need more support, book a discovery call to see if we are a right fit to work together.
I've got more than a decade of experience and the skills to work with the toughest sleep cases, especially with toddlers.
All my strategies for clients are carefully curated and personalized to suit the child's temperament and family's lifestyle.
Holistic Sleep Coach
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